Sunday, February 17, 2013

AFTERLIFE

The true story of my postpartum body

Since having a C-section my body had been...wait a second.  I don’t want to talk about this!  Instead, I’d rather talk about other people’s bodies, for instance, those chicks whose thighs don’t touch when standing with their feet together.  I wonder what it feels like with all that air passing through.  Can they do tree pose?  What do they do when there’s a breeze?  That’s got to be awkward.    

Ok, I feel better about myself now and think I’m ready to talk about it.  Really, I only have about 10 lbs. of post-pregnancy weight left to lose, but these 10 lbs. may be the death of me.  Actually, let’s call it 8 lbs. because of the added breastfeeding boob weight.  That’s a legitimate deduction, right?  And if I were to be honest with myself what I weighed before pregnancy was a fluke anyway.  We had just moved to a higher elevation so my husband and I both lost weight just by breathing.  So let’s call it 6 lbs.  I think I’d be happy with losing 6 lbs., although, I think that pre-pregnancy number may haunt me forever. 


A goofy picture of me at 28 weeks pregnant

My yoga practice tells me I should be accepting of where I’m at.  But the mirror and this new belly flap thingy I’ve inherited tells me otherwise. Acceptance.  I accept you oh belly flap, pouchy thingy, folding over my incision scar.  I think I’ll name you Shakira.  Wait, Shakira has amazing abs.  Scribble that.  With the exception of making a bloody mess trying to remove it manually, I have to accept its floppy, doughy presence until it’s gone and just keep eating healthy and fitting exercise into the nooks and crannies of my week.  On the elliptical, I can feel Shakira flopping around like she’s not even connected to my body.  Super awesome.
  
GOAL: Belly flap gone along with the rest of baby weight in 6 weeks.  6 lbs. in 6 weeks.  Yikes!  And, I’m not even going to bring up my backside.

Also, when I was pregnant I discovered a skin tag on my belly button you can only see when it’s popped out.  I will call him Ramón.  Well, Ramón didn’t really “pop” out.  He gradually emerged from the dark cave of my naval to reveal his wrinkly head, kind of like Voldemort with a hanging freckle on his nose. (Hey!  Sounds like the thing that got me pregnant in the first place.)

I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to buy all new jeans, not so much because of Shakira, my belly flap (she just folds over the jeans like a crease in a sack of flour), but because of how wide my hips got.  I try my old jeans on once in a while, wishful thinking I suppose.  Here’s an account of the most recent attempt:

I pull them on. Snug on the legs, but they usually are after being washed, right?  They are stretchy jeans, so I think I just need to wear them in for a few hours.  Still can’t quite zip them all the way.  Bummer, but some improvement from the last try-on.  So things are looking up! I, then, lift up my shirt to have a look at the fit and GAGOOSH! Shakira plops down to my horror.  I scream and urgently peel off the jeans then run to the junk drawer to get a lighter so I can burn those sons o’ bitches. 

End scene.

Idiotically, I’ve decided to hang onto the jeans for one year just to see if fate would have my hips go back enough for them to fit.  Like I said (through gritted teeth) it’s because of my hips NOT Shakira.  My mother says, “Your body will go back.  Mine didn’t, but yours will.”  Gee, thanks.  Of course, if Husband has his way I’ll be preggy with twins before then.  Eew.  I think I just got a little “morning sick” in my mouth thinking about it.

Acceptance.


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